Tag Archives: advice

For the new college graduates…

Standard

With graduation weekend at the University of Michigan upon us, a few new graduates have asked me about what I have learned since college. It is a monumental year for me in some ways, as it has officially been five years since my undergraduate graduation from the University of Michigan and one year since my IMBA graduation from the University of South Carolina.

What can I share with the new graduating class from my alma mater and any other university?

Two words: Be Prepared.

But not in the traditional way you have been prepared all of your life up until this point. There is no studying that can prepare you for the life tests of your 20s. The next few years of your life will likely be less prescribed than ever before. Unless if you are continuing with school, you will no longer be on a regular schedule, anticipating spring break, 3 month summer breaks, and long weekends every month.

Be prepared for the most adventurous time of your life. You will likely move to places you would have never imagined, try jobs you would have never imagined, and have the freedom to travel.

Be prepared that people in your life may come and go, but they will change you forever. The friends will be in your heart forever as they help you laugh and wipe off your tears as you go through transitions and experience the turbulent 20s.

Be prepared for relationships that will succeed and others that will fail, but all of them will help you grow. And it is up to you to choose to stay in the relationships that help you grow for the better and that do not hold you back from your true self or your true potential.

Be prepared for choices that will challenge your values and your vision of who you are. But view the choices as an opportunity to shape who you are and to stand your ground when others won’t.

Be prepared to make mistakes. A cookie cutter life is not always realistic…you may have a plan A, but always have a plan B. And don’t be surprised when a completely different plan ends up taking place. As long as you stay rooted in your values and stay positive, any plan can end up working for you.

Be prepared that everything that happens to you is part of your life experience. Good and bad, your experiences will prepare you for the next decades ahead. I’ve always heard to take risks in your 20s since you will have more time to recover from them. In one way or another, everything you do can be viewed as a risk, but I view it as an opportunity…at the very least to gain life experience. If you remember that everything is life experience, you will be inspired to get through any situation…maybe with a few more wrinkles, but ultimately with a smile knowing that you made it.

And finally, be prepared to not be prepared. Let go of trying to control what happens to you. Plan enough to make sure you are stable and secure in the present and near future, but remember that spontaneity is a beautiful thing. Allow new experiences to come your way on their own schedule. Envision a bright future and truly believe it, and it will come to you. Congratulations to the Class of 2018!

For my fellow wolverine graduates, never forget…for now goodbye, for tomorrow good luck, and Forever Go Blue!

And for my fellow gamecock graduates, Forever to Thee!

Advertisements

International Love

Standard

How are love and relationships comprehended throughout the world? This has been the fascinating topic of conversation in my French class and with my host family over the past week.

My classmates throughout the world have been optimistic about love, saying that true love lasts forever and there is no such thing as a bad ending to love. We talked about the various types of relationships in France, including a civil union, a PACs and marriage. We compared our own customs (United States, Brazil, Uruguay, Scotland, Poland, Japan, and Germany) to those in France. Each of our home countries define relationships differently: some focus on the religious commitment, some focus on the financial benefits, some focus on equality for all, and others focus on how society is organized. While we found that the semantics and government benefits of relationships vary by country, we were comforted to know that true love unites us all.

2f8f0523a92dcf50625918a756d30265

The unity of love made me more excited to learn about the French and what love lessons I could apply anywhere in the world. I spoke with my host mom about love and relationships over dinner this week. I told her I respected her opinion as she has been married for 35 years! My host mom made love seem so simple. She said the first important test to know whether your significant other is “the one” is: when you see your significant other for the first time in a while, how do you feel? If he/she makes you feel happy and brings butterflies to your stomach, you should be with him/her. She also said that in order to make her 35 year marriage successful she looked for 3 values in her husband: trust, esteem, and having fun together. She defined esteem as her husband being respected by others and therefore is an honor to be around. With these values and an overall sentiment of happiness with your significant other, my host mom thinks that your relationship can withstand time. I plan to continue the conversation about love and relationships, as I think they are some of the most mysterious parts about life. We can all stand to learn from others about how to find true love and have lifelong relationships. What other lessons about international love have you learned during your travels?

 

From Explorer to Settler

Standard

InspirNational readers: We all love to explore and travel, but how do we decide where to settle? Thank you to Hunter Reams for writing this guest post with some great insights about choosing where to settle.


There are countless blogs and advice columns on traveling and exploring the world. While we all love being an explorer, at the end of the day, or at the end of a great vacation, we need a place to call home. Deciding where you want to settle down can be one of the most difficult decisions. From affordability to an awesome job market, many variables impact your decision on that place that you can call home. I have narrowed down my top criteria in making the all-important decision of where to plant your roots.

Job Opportunities
Job opportunities vary from state to state and region to region, and this is a very important variable as it is the foundation upon which you will prosper. I believe that the best place to start your “quest to settle” is to analyze the job market. If you work in investment banking, New York City will be much more likely to have opportunities than Gary, Indiana. Or if you are interested in supply chain management for oil, Texas and North Dakota may have the best opportunities. Network with friends, network online, network some more, and search for the employment opportunities that will make you happy. Once you have located either specific jobs or areas that have a demand for your expertise, narrow your search area to those places. This way, you will be much more likely to be financially stable, and derive the most enjoyment out of your new location!

office

Family and Friends
If family and friends play a major role in your life, you may not want to locate far away from them. While social media and communications technology have made it much easier to stay connected over long distances, it is nonetheless very difficult to live far from your closest circle. Personally, this is a particularly difficult criterion as my parents relocated to a remote Appalachian city, while my friends and extended family are in Michigan/Ohio…When analyzing this variable; keep in mind the age/health of your family and friends, as well as the possibilities of them relocating. If you are looking to settle away from friends and family, consider living in areas that are near airports or other forms of public transportation to help you stay connected.

fam

Climate and Geography
If you love the beach, should you focus on living beachside? If you want to ski every day, should you narrow your search to mountainous regions? Do you want to live right by the Detroit Tigers’ stadium so you can get season tickets to the games? Both the climate and geographic region play a huge role in determining your hobbies, behaviors, and activities. A good way to analyze this variable is to write down all of the hobbies and activities that make you happy, and determine if each geographic location can cater to them. If you absolutely cannot go a week without playing golf, then living in Maine would not be a great idea. If you love the snow and four seasons, then maybe Florida is not the right place for you. This variable should not be overlooked because you can find employment, affordable housing, good education systems, and culture all throughout the country. But certain geographic locations have characteristics that others do not possess. (i.e oceans, warm weather, sports teams). Choose wisely when determining what geographic locations can best satisfy your needs.

bea

Population and Culture
I grouped population and culture together because I have traveled to many large American cities and have yet to find one that does not offer plenty of culture. On the other hand, the majority of small cities do not possess as many offerings of cultural stimulation. If you crave the variety of cultural foods, music, atmosphere, ambience, etc. then living in cities like New York, Los Angeles or Miami would be a great fit. Those cities are full of vibrant offerings that will keep any cultural sommelier happy. If cultural diversity is not as important to you, then a small town or suburb will likely be a good match.

Population is also an important factor because life in a small town is much different than living in a suburb, which is much different than living in a large city. Having lived in all three, I will share my opinions per population size:

If you enjoy seeing neighbors at the local grocery store and enjoy being a bigger fish in a small pond, then the small town life may be for you. Living in a small town provides a sense of community – you feel like you truly are part of the town. There are also fewer worries about crime, traffic, other annoyances, and the ability to frequently see friends and family at the local restaurants, churches, and stores. Additionally, it is typically much more affordable and land is abundant. The biggest disadvantages to small town life are the lack of amenities, culture, and job opportunities. In the town I lived in for 6 months, there was very little to do, not much shopping/entertainment, and lack of cultural exposure among many of the people. The town did not have any major corporation and held very few job opportunities for a young college graduate. I believe that living in a small town is best suited for those that want a slower pace of life, close-knit community, and more privacy. Families, retirees, and those who love the outdoors are best suited for the small town.

Growing up in a suburb provided a great mix of the small town and bigger city. While I could travel into Detroit for sports games and concerts, I also could retreat back to the safety and privacy that the suburb provided. There were great job opportunities in the suburb itself and in the surrounding cities. I feel that the biggest disadvantage to suburban life is that there is not the abundance of culture/entertainment that one finds in a big city, and it also lacks the land and community involvement compared to a small town. Some may find that suburbs are unsatisfyingly mediocre. I believe that suburbs are the most ideal location for families and those that want a comfortable lifestyle.

Life in the big city has the advantages of all the amenities you can ask for; lots of entertainment and culture, and tons of employment opportunities. Cities often have public transits systems that eliminate the need for a car and a short bike ride or walk can get you to where you need to be. I feel that the biggest drawbacks to living in a larger city are the lack of nature, expenses, small fish in a big pond, crime, and annoyances such as traffic and higher taxes. I believe that the big city is best suited for young professionals and those that want to experience a fast paced lifestyle with tons of culture and diversity.

Overall, small towns, suburbs, and larger cities all have pros and cons. It is important to discover what makes you happy, and find a place that works for you!

pop

Longevity
My final variable in making the decision to settle down is longevity. It is important to grasp an understanding on long-term variables that will be important to you. Education systems, healthcare, governmental benefits and taxes, real estate markets – these things are easy to overlook when you are 25 and excited to start your career in a new place. But in a few short years when all of your friends and colleagues are starting families, these variables can become extremely important, if not determinative. So when making your decision on where to settle down, keep in mind that your priorities will likely change. To help analyze this factor, reaching out to family members or friends who are at a later stage in life may be of help. Ask them what they look for when relocating, and the best ways of ascertaining that information. This way, you are not only preparing for the present, but also for the future.

fammm

Final Word
Overall, there is no right decision and that is a beautiful thing! You cannot make a wrong choice, only choose a different path. Do your diligences, discover what makes you happy, and then go for it!